Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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