Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
