respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
