White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
