the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
