dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
