Already got asked if we're dating
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
