Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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