Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
