He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
