hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
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