Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
