He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
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