You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Randomize
