My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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