I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
