Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i think i have herpe
just one?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
