so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
