after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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