Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
