I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
