wat bout pragnant strippers??
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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