I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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