thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
