Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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