But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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