she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
