don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
