then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
