Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
