Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
