Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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