I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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