I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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