i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
