hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
