Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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