If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
