man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
