you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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