Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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