this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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