You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
