there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
The beer is more important than you right now.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
