ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
