Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
