dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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