If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
