hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
