so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize
