Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
