I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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