Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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